DEAR ABBY: I'm a 35-year-old woman whose father refuses to get along with me no matter how hard I try. Our relationship was always strained due to the alcoholism he has struggled with since my childhood, made worse by the fact that I became an addict. I've been in recovery for a while, and I'm clean and sober now.\u00a0 He and my mother took guardianship of my two sons, ages 12 and 7, because my disease rendered me unable to care for them at that time. I have mentioned getting my kids back after I acquire more clean time; neither of my parents wants that. I know Dad resents me deeply, both because he has my kids and also because of my addiction.\u00a0 If I can forgive him for what his alcoholism has put me through, why can't he forgive me? I don't understand why he has to hate me. Believe me, he HATES me! I just want him to treat me the same way he treats my older brother and sister. I need help with this situation. Counseling is not an option; I know he will refuse.\u00a0 \u2014 HURTING IN MICHIGAN DEAR HURTING: A predisposition to addiction can run in families. I suspect that the person your father hates is himself, and that he saw a lot of himself in you while you were using. That you are now sober is a constant reminder of what a failure he is, which may be why he treats you the way he does. While counseling for him may be out, it doesn't mean that you couldn't benefit from it. Please consider it. Although it won't make your father love you, it may help you to handle his unpleasantness more effectively. Once you have accumulated more clean time, regaining custody of your children may become a viable option, and something to discuss with a lawyer at that time.\u00a0 DEAR ABBY: My wife has started slurping her food at dinner. I think it started after we returned from a vacation three months ago. I'm convinced she didn't do it before then because we have taken a couple of vacations recently where it would have been noticeable because of the quiet, intimate places in which we dined.\u00a0 Because of the COVID quarantine, I realize that tensions can be heightened, and I have tried not to make too much of this. I am reluctant to speak up about it because during my first marriage, even the slightest noise when eating would upset my ex-wife, and I think it would be unfair for me to have the same pet peeve.\u00a0 This may seem like I'm overly sensitive, but her slurping and heavy breathing every time she takes a bite, even with dry food, is making dinner time uncomfortable for me. I have pointed it out in a casual way, but it seems she is unaware of just how loudly she is eating. What can I do to reach a compromise on this?\u00a0 \u2014 UNCOMFORTABLE DINER\u00a0 DEAR DINER: While your sensitivity to this might be related to the problems you had with your first wife, because this is a recent change in your current wife's behavior, it should be checked out by her doctor. I am less concerned about her "slurping" than about the labored breathing you described when your wife is eating. Sister separates herself from the rest of the family DEAR ABBY: I have two younger sisters \u2014 "Mara" and "Talia." We grew up very close, thick as thieves. However, as adults, my relationship with Mara has gone from strained to nonexistent, especially as I've grown closer to my youngest sister, Talia.\u00a0 Mara gave birth to her first child five years ago, and since then, she has cut everyone out of her life, including our heartbroken parents. I was able to stay in contact with her, but she would accuse me of not wanting to see her because I couldn't make time in my schedule to see her kids. (I am a full-time student and have a full-time job.) Bear in mind that Mara has made no effort to meet my schedule, either.\u00a0 She finally cut all ties with me after Talia and I got matching tattoos centered around video games \u2014 a subject Mara has no interest in. She was upset that we didn't invite her to get one too, but we didn't think she would want a permanent inking of something she had shown distaste for in the past. We invited her to get sister tattoos when she said she was hurt. She said she didn't have time because of her kids, and hasn't spoken to me since.\u00a0 I feel like nothing I do will make her happy. Am I better off not having her in my life? Or should I try to make amends?\u00a0 \u2014 SISTER STRESS IN UTAH DEAR SISTER STRESS: You have done nothing for which to make amends. It appears you have one high-maintenance sister who looks for grievances and hangs on to them as though they are precious treasures. I suspect you are correct in thinking nothing you do will make her happy, at least at this point, and \u2014 since you asked \u2014 you may be better off without her making you miserable. I am sorry for your parents and for you and Talia, but sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie. DEAR ABBY: Our wonderful daughter married her college sweetheart two years ago. We paid for the wedding. I have been noticing that everything he does is for his benefit. When he comes to our house, he plops down on the couch with his cellphone in hand until the food is ready. As soon as the food is on the table, his hands are ready to serve himself. Once meals are finished, he runs straight back to the couch. He looks into our fridge before anything is offered because he's hungry. When we go out for food, he leaves the table when the check arrives. (ALWAYS!) My wife gets mad if I mention "your turn" for the check.\u00a0 They both have good jobs, pay a mortgage and splurge if they go out themselves. When we go out together, he orders the most expensive items on the menu. When they invite us, WE pay. I'm tempted not to go out with them again. Am I stingy because I feel resentment?\u00a0 \u2014 FEELING USED IN ILLINOIS DEAR FEELING USED: I don't think so. Not only are you not stingy, you have been more generous than many fathers-in-law would have been. This unfortunate situation might be effectively handled if your wife has a "woman-to-woman" chat with your daughter about her husband's boorish behavior. However, if that doesn't solve the problem, you may have to tolerate the moocher she married, warts and all. A final thought: The next time they invite you out, forget your credit cards on purpose. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.