My neighbor had a horrifying experience recently, something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Just before Thanksgiving, his son yelled down to him from the second floor, “Dad, Dad, turkeys are attacking your car!”
Let me pause before I continue this dramatic account and assure you, “This is NOT fake news.” So please, I plead with you not to sic Facebook fact-checkers or Washington Post fact-checkers or any of those other notorious fact-checkers on me. And don’t report me to the Environmental Protection Agency, because the next thing you know, government agents disguised as wild turkeys will be snooping and pooping around my yard. Now, back to the exciting conclusion of this story.