Here\u2019s a headline that will make you glad you\u2019re out of school: \u201cFlorida parents are getting high and exposing themselves during kids\u2019 virtual classes.\u201d Or maybe you wish you were back in school. Boca Raton teachers grumbled about what they have been seeing in the background while kids are glued to the computer screen. Mom and Dad, according to a report by KATV, have been walking around in underwear and bras, wielding joints as large as cigars, and quaffing 16-ounce brewskis in the morning. And they\u2019re not even celebrities who think that kind of behavior is acceptable in public. The parents at a recent school board hearing laughed it off, which makes you wonder what they\u2019d say if the teachers came to class in skimpy garments while puffing on joints. Which raises a moral question: Teachers aren\u2019t supposed to set a bad example, but it\u2019s OK for parents to? One teacher urged Mom and Dad to get their acts together: \u201cParents, please make sure you have on proper clothing when you are walking behind your child\u2019s computer because we\u2019ve seen them in their drawers, their bras, and everything else.\u201d Everything else probably translates to nothing else. It\u2019s just another challenge as we move into the era of online teaching in America and grapple with the new abnormal. The way things are going, don\u2019t be surprised if the teachers get fired for infringing on parents\u2019 rights to express themselves in their skivvies. One woman had an ankle monitor on her leg, but that\u2019s not really against the law. After all, she already broke the law. Another teacher complained: \u201cWhen you are helping your children at their computer, please do not appear with big joints and cigarettes in your hand. Those joints can be as big as cigars.\u201d They\u2019re exercising their rights as Americans and as we\u2019ve all been told repeatedly, we have the right to do anything until it offends the thought police. Some of the teachers expressed concern that innocent kids are being exposed to the unseemly life of hard-partying families and it could harm them. (On the other hand, it\u2019s nothing they haven\u2019t already seen on TV.) Look at it this way, if college students have to be warned about \u201ctriggers\u201d whenever they read Mark Twain to prevent meltdowns in class, little kids should be warned that something disturbing is about to walk across their computer screen: Close your eyes! BEER BELLY APPROACHING! Or avert your gaze! FELON WITH ANKLE BRACELET SMOKING WEED! To avoid any unsavory sights in the background while I\u2019m teaching, my wife rushes into the room 10 minutes before I crank up Zoom. She\u2019s like the cleanup crew on Good Morning, America, with a dustbuster in one hand and Windex in the other, for a last-minute reorganization. This zealous activity usually leads to a domestic argument. \u201cWhy do you have to do that right before I start class?\u201d I\u2019ll grumble. To which she inevitably responds, \u201cBecause this place is a mess.\u201d She\u2019ll vacuum the floor even though I insist that the only thing students can see, besides my bald head, is the ceiling fan. \u201cThey can\u2019t see the pizza crumbs on the carpet!\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t care, I can see them.\u201d And so it goes. Actually, 99 percent of what she cleans and organizes is out of the range of my webcam. Otherwise, I might get brought in for disciplinary action like Socrates was, for corrupting the youth of Athens. One thing you can be sure of: I don\u2019t smoke joints on camera \u2014 or off camera for that matter \u2014 and I\u2019m always wearing clothes. I wear trousers and a shirt and even a tie because teaching in a T-shirt is only one more step in the downward spiral that America is already on. I also brush my teeth because I can\u2019t think of anything more distressing \u2014 another trigger opportunity to upset young minds \u2014 than a piece of food lodged between my front teeth while I\u2019m trying to explain the outdated concept of ethics. Joe Pisani can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.